Posts Tagged ‘self’
Newborn Baby Tears for My Old Self
Posted by: Farah on: October 2, 2009
sometimes i still cry for the old me
and i feel guilty cuz
the new me is
happy.
but i miss the old me’s extremes–
blind faith and concrete
black and white ideals
until evil jet black pushed into petrified pink
surprisingly, painfully.
suffering isn’t ideal.
neither are tears and grief
for a version of myself
mummified by cries that came so often
that when tears ran out,
a [...]
Visions of Grandeur
Posted by: Farah on: October 1, 2009
- In: poetry
- 2 Comments
if i had boots that were big enough,
i would put them on,
walk through bright pink paint
and stomp on the earth
to leave my footprints.
i’d want the world to remember me
and maybe i’m obnoxious
for wanting to stain it with my favorite color,
but i don’t want to just be
another broke down wannabe artist
too afraid to start shit
and content [...]
Defiance
Posted by: Farah on: February 28, 2009
- In: poetry
- 2 Comments
i know the rules,
but i don’t care.
i have memorized the stipulations of life,
studied them to find out why they apply
but at the end of the day,
i just want things my way.
is that wrong?
what does your reply matter anyway?
i hate to be rude or hurt feelings
but i’ve finally reached a point
where i can decipher my feelings [...]
I’m Selfish
Posted by: Farah on: February 11, 2009
- In: poetry
- 7 Comments
love me out of my selfishness.
i have been robbed of me more times
than i feel comfortable to speak of
so now i do my best to keep up
with my own well-being.
every decision i make has to pass the litmus test
of how it feels in my gut
and when i’m in an emotional rut,
i cut people off like [...]
Healthy Bulimia
Posted by: Farah on: February 4, 2009
fresh acid burning in the back of my throat,
darkening my teeth
and freeing that stabbing feeling
in the pit of my stomach,
i purge all that is negative
out of me.
i used to look at bitterness and anger and self loathing
and pain and pity
and say desperately, “feed me”
but i’ve found new food today.
tears of joy and peace as toxins [...]
Me Chaser
Posted by: Farah on: February 4, 2009
- In: poetry
- 2 Comments
like lost keys,
as soon as i stopped looking,
i breathed
and found me.
always thinking i was scattered,
i searched under pillow cushions and dark corners,
in the bottom of wine glasses and backs of refrigerators,
Googled my full name a thousand times
looking for a sign to point me
in the direction of my identity;
have even spent hours in front of the [...]
Ambulatory Announcement
Posted by: Farah on: January 21, 2009
- In: poetry
- 5 Comments
one day i’m gonna walk away from it all.
leave squeaky chair spinning in cubicle
and pictures on the wall
and expectations of success
and bill collector calls
and dreams that are too far to reach
and grab them as if all
that mattered
was honoring me.
i’m gonna walk away,
maybe even run,
not caring if i break the heels on my black leather pumps
or [...]
Prostitute
Posted by: Farah on: January 3, 2009
- In: poetry
- 2 Comments
i remember the day when
one of my theatre teachers proclaimed
in a his usual loud, harsh yell of a voice:
“You’re all prostitutes!”
i took it as a joke,
cracked up about it
like the daily comics
but now it’s no longer funny
as i try to figure out
how to use my art
to make money.
am i selling my body?
maximizing my curves for [...]
New Year’s Resolutions
Posted by: Farah on: January 2, 2009
- In: poetry
- 9 Comments
i resolve
to be a woman.
i will not swoon from being called “beautiful.”
all i need to do is look in the mirror and it shows.
tell me something i don’t know.
i resolve to be a woman,
to let my “yes” be yes
and my “no” be no
and my “no” be “hell no”
if the hearer doesn’t show
thst they hear me
because [...]
Selling Myself
Posted by: Farah on: December 19, 2008
- In: poetry
- 3 Comments
sometimes i have the urge to sell myself.
not on a dusty shelf
to be picked over during the holidays,
but to be on the market in such a way
that i take the time to explain the reasons why
someone should love me.
i am so far from perfection that it scares me,
but my soul makes up for it.
i can [...]
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