Relationship Counseling (Revised 7-23-08)
there’s so much for me to learn
and i just feel like there’s never enough
time escapes me–
it is a fugitive prisoner in my life, running
and i get tired of chasing.
i’m not used to keeping up with time.
it’s a sprinter
and i’m not trained for speed.
i prefer to walk
when time dodges me.
it’s used to escaping the best,
putting people who consider themselves athletes
to a true, nearly impossible test.
time i wish existed solely in my mind
but it is a reality, leaving me
in the dust choking.
where did my time go?
did it disappear into thin air like smoke or
is it fogging my eyes, clouding my mind, stinging my brain?
i wish i could contain
the seconds, subdue
the minutes, force
to submit to my command.
i wish i could make friends with time and hold its hand–
walk in friendship and feel like we’re in this
together, me and time,
the best of buddies in rain or shine,
but then reality sets in
and i look around and realize
that me and time are no longer companions walking freely.
time has run away,
moved on to the next thing
and i’m looking for what direction it went in,
searching the ground for footprints,
for some sort of sign.
where did you go, time?
did i offend you? did i misuse you
and now you’re staying away from me for a while?
look, i’m sorry i abused you.
i didn’t mean to neglect you
for things that seemed,
i thought you would always be there,
waiting in the wings, a constant in my life.
i didn’t know that you would grow weary,
get old and even one day perish.
people say you fly but instead you
falling down never to be revived
moving on to those who consider you alive.
let me do with you what I should have done
and make a commitment for you to be my husband.
time, i will love you if you come back.
spend my focus figuring out how to make me and you
work on our relationship and communicate with you
so that you will be a positive factor in all that i do.
time, i want to love you, but it is so difficult
because you’re always rushing,
never around for as long as i want you to be.
i look up from my sleep and you are gone
and i am late for work.
i look up from my selfishness and there you are,
walking away with my loved one.
i look up from my procrastination and
you are jumping out of the window with my goals.
time, you are control.
tell me what you it is,
what i’m supposed to be doing right now.
i’m a novice at dealing with you
and i need your guidance because i feel you
i don’t know you anymore
and all i see is your shadow fading in the opposite direction.
i’m hoping i see you tomorrow because you’re disintegrating today.
just slipped away.