Poetry by Farah Lawal Harris

Negatives


i never thought i’d throw your picture
in the trash.
i kept negatives of each developed set
of disposable camera film
just in case
some disaster like
excessive heat in my un-airconditioned childhood bedroom
or a flood from bursting of rusted pipes
crept into the shoe box under my bed
and ruined the images of
us.

i still don’t know for sure
if photo negatives can withstand the elements,
never understood their permanence.
i look at tiny distorted thumbnails
and i can’t even recognize the moments,
just like i can’t put my finger on
what made you stop calling me your friend.

you discarded me in the worst way,
left me living smudged in your life’s wastebasket
when i thought i still sat pretty in speed dial–
what denial!
i wish i could say i don’t miss you.
i wish i could say i haven’t shed tears over this loss.
i wish our friendship lasted
as long as the negatives that now live under my adult bed,
the ones i keep in case i one day regret
throwing your picture
and my hope for closeness
in the trash.

Advertisements

3 responses

  1. Our friends and our friends’ needs change with time…guess it’s part of the natural progression of things…new friends may fill the void.

    October 30, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    • Thanks for the wisdom, @slpmartin.

      October 30, 2013 at 12:22 pm

  2. malcolmjames

    That’s rough. When I was in my twenties, my oldest friend and I were growing apart. We stayed in touch, though, and are close again. You never know what may come.

    October 30, 2013 at 10:03 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s