i need rain,
but not the kind i have felt before.
i don’t want cold, slanted drops hitting my face
in a conspiracy to make me colder.
i need condensation of relaxation,
showers of inhale-exhale-inhale-exhale breathing,
umbrella weather of honoring me.
i’m so dehydrated,
dizzy from daily activities
and in need of nourishment to bring my heart
back to beating normally.
i need raindrops falling on my head to consume me
so that i want to go outside in it
and maybe even dance
and maybe have a chance of beating my dry spell
so that i can make it to the next harvest
without worry, insecurity, and stress.
every day i walk miles and miles.
my legs have seen more hills
and my feet have stubbed more toes on sidewalks
than i can recount. if i had to count,
estimate how many miles i ambulate,
i’d have to confess that most of my traveling time
is spent inside of my mind.
i may sit in a cubicle from monday thru friday
but my imagination flies through van gogh’s starry nights
and lands on romare bearden’s collages.
it stretches and contorts like salvador dali’s objects
and tries to remain sleek like the art deco movement
but it’s too rough around the edges to be modern,
too complex to be described by a simple period in time.
this mind is stronger than my muscular calves, which have ached
from the toll of rushing, tried to look too cool for running,
but settling on moving briskly, avoiding
those who choose to waste their days moving at a slow pace,
burning from the fear of always running late.
i look at these thick legs, scars and all
which each have stories of their own
and contemplate how much stronger
my brain must be.
yes, it is bruised by memories
but those same sources of pain have caused it
to become capable of dealing with any and everything,
expansive enough to see the past, present,
and worldly enough to whisk itself away
on new journeys that arise and never cease to surprise
as the feet on my body and on the sidewalks of my mind
travel for miles in order to survive
each hectic day.